


Irregular Kindness

by audra_accalia



Series: Audra's Story [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 18:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audra_accalia/pseuds/audra_accalia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>04: After Audra thwarted an assassination attempt, Voldemort suddenly sees her in a new light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irregular Kindness

A soft knock sounded on Voldemort’s door; without looking away from the fire He said “Enter.” Quietly, Audra slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. Keeping her head down and her mouth shut, she waited just inside the door for her orders. “Ah, yes Accalia. Come here my pet,” He waved her over to where he stood on the hearth.

 _He used my nickname, that’s good_ Audra thought as she meekly made her way towards her master. She stopped just out of arms reach, knowing better than to get too close.

Voldemort examined His servant with shrewd eyes. Still as beautiful physically as she was the day He met her, there was a noticeable difference. Her skin had faded from warm cinnamon to brown sugar, still retaining some of the color though she had seen very little sunlight in the past year. Her muscles had maintained their tone, the reason she confessed was she still had a rigorous, albeit limited, workout she kept to daily. She was about the same size, neither malnourished nor hefty, although her face was thinner from stress. Her eyes were the same dark chocolate with the same determined fire behind them. Several scars, all from Him, shone in the light from the fire along her arms and shoulders; Voldemort knew there were even more on her back. A cloth was tied around her right upper arm where a knife was extracted from not even an hour before. The bandage was red with her blood, yet she showed no sign of pain.

 _Come to think of it, she didn’t even cry out when she was stabbed_ He remembered. “You should be healed by now…” He mentioned, indicating the wound.

Audra absent-mindedly touched the bandage; her chains pulled tight, barely letting her do so. “Master, it is nothing,” she replied quietly. “It’s a new moon tonight… it takes longer for me to heal.”

“Yes I have noticed that in the past,” Voldemort said. He closed the distance between them, and He noticed she checked her impulse to flinch. _She is beautiful_ He thought, reaching out to lightly brush her cheek. His fingertips trailed down to her chin, and He lifted it up to look into her eyes.

 _Shit, he’s trying Legilimency_ she realized. Desperately she recalled the encounter at dinner and wondered why Voldemort called her here, if not to punish her. Voldemort seemed satisfied with her thoughts, for He broke eye contact and brushed past her.

Taking a seat on the couch, He indicated for Audra to join Him. Unsure of His intentions, she began kneeling next to the couch. Voldemort caught her good shoulder, and directed her to sit next to Him. Perplexed, she gently sat on the edge of the chair, afraid to get too comfortable. A long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them, Voldemort watching Audra and Audra watching her hands, each unsure of what to say next.

Unable to bare it any longer, Audra opted to speak and deal with the consequences. “Master, I apologize for my behavior earlier,” she whispered. She kept her face down, afraid to look up.

“You reacted. In a room full of Death Eaters, each and every one of them trained to kill; you beat them.” He stated. He noticed her flinch again. “I’m not going to hurt you,” He added softly.

Surprised, Audra looked up. “You’re… you’re not mad?” she questioned.

“How can I be?” He asked. “You risked your life to save mine. And for that, I owe you; and Lord Voldemort always pays His debts.”

“Master, you owe me nothing,” Audra said, rather embarrassed. “I am your servant. One cannot be in debt to their property.” She looked down at her hands, which she was twisting from nerves.

Voldemort reached across and took her hand in His. Gently, He stroked it, placing it on His lap, noticing the other one unwillingly follow its chained partner. “How did you know?” He asked.

Audra considered her words before speaking. “Master, the man seemed uneasy. Something didn’t feel right, and I knew you were too preoccupied with the company to notice. I made sure that I would be able to intercept him before he attacked you.”

“And you did,” Voldemort squeezed her hand. “You knocked him to the table, causing him to lose his wand. You didn’t even flinch as he drove the knife into your arm, nor when you crushed his windpipe with your chains.”

Audra unwillingly smiled. “Master, I need neither thanks nor praise. Just being able to serve you is an honor.”

“Spoken like a true brainwashed Death Eater,” He commented. “I know you have more intelligence than that.” He once again lifted up her chin, though not meeting her eyes this time. “What is it that you would like?” He questioned.

Audra thought of the warm fire over Voldemort’s shoulder, and His cold fingers rubbing hers. “That cell gets pretty cold at night,” she whispered. “And the floor is rather hard.”

“I was thinking of moving your sleeping quarters anyways,” He replied; Audra let out a sigh of relief. “I’d rather have you closer, now that there has been an assassination attempt. There is a room next to my own; you can make that your new quarters.”

“Master, thank you,” she said, tears in her eyes. “This is… unexpected. Thank you.”

“Lord Voldemort is merciful towards His followers,” He stated, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Suddenly, He had an overwhelming desire to kiss her…

Embarrassed, Audra quickly pulled away and turned her back on Him, furiously wiping away her tears. The links of the chain softly _clinked_ , a noise that seemed magnified for Voldemort. Looking to distract Himself, He instead examined the marks along her back. Here it was obvious the abuse she suffered at His hands. _Never once has she complained…_ He recalled _…whether because of sheer determination or sick pleasure_. The silver braided into His whip is what left the scars, seeing as werewolves of her caliber aren’t scarred easily, and the Cruciatus curse doesn’t affect her like it does a normal human. The marks were really more for His self worth than a need to control her; she was so strong willed and determined that He, the greatest Dark Wizard of all times felt inadequate next to her. If it wasn’t for constant mental reinforcement that she was a mudblood, Voldemort would have long ago seen her as a worthy Death Eater rather than as a pitiful slave.

 _No, she could never be a Death Eater!_ yelled a voice in the back of His mind.

 _But she’s proven herself_ , another voice reasoned.

_Her blood is tainted!_

_But does that really matter? Her blood didn’t prevent her from killing that man…_

_Listen to yourself! You’re no better than that muggle-loving fool Dumbledore!_ The voice bellowed. _She’s not one of us! She is nothing more than scum, barely fit to serve the noblest of the pure bloods!_

“Audra,” He softly whispered. She snapped her head around so quickly He was certain she’d break her neck.

“You… you said my name,” she barely breathed. “I haven’t heard it in a year…”

He had no idea why, but Voldemort smiled. It was not the cunning, controlling smile that normally graced His face; it was genuine. “Give me your hands,” He instructed. Still unsure, she did as she was told, allowing the links to coil in her lap. Reaching out, He tapped both shackles with his wand, and they fell right off. Audra smiled, rubbing her very chaffed wrists. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“If there is another assassination attempt, I’d rather you be able to fight,” He stated. Pointing His wand at her ankles, those shackles too came undone. “You’ve shown a resistance to violence. There is no need to chain you. However,” Voldemort conjured a silver ring out of the air. He placed it over her head and around her throat. “This will keep you in line.” As He said this, the ring contracted, until it sat as a stiff necklace a few inches larger than the circumference of her neck. It rested on her collarbone, and Audra touched it lightly, feeling the smoothness of the metal on her skin.

Voldemort tapped the ring with His wand and the strangest sensation occurred. It felt as if a thick fog was pushing against Audra, arresting her breathing and magnifying her heartbeat in her ears, like she was struggling to get oxygen to her cells. Her hearing dampened, her eyesight went foggy, and her limbs felt like heavy lead weights. Reacting out of instinct, she attempted to shift to wolf, but found the transformation just out of reach, as if she couldn’t pull the fur suit over her human skin. She began to panic, and her breath became heavier and more ragged.

 _Fuck, it’s a limiter!_ she realized, trying desperately to pull it off. But as she attempted to get it over her chin, it grew smaller and smaller, until it was so tight it began cutting off her air supply. She could hear Voldemort’s high, cruel laugh from far off in the distance… she felt weak and short of breath. The darkness of unconsciousness began to settle, but she fought hard against it. _Struggling will get me nowhere_ she said. Reverting to meditation, she consciously calmed herself: emptied her mind of all panic, slowed her breathing, and forced her heart to beat in a regular steady rhythm. Keeping her eyes closed, she forced herself into a state of complete calm. Her hands gripping her knees, she could feel the force against her windpipe lessen as did the fog. Her hearing began to sharpen, and when she opened her eyes, the haziness had gone.

Looking to Voldemort, she saw His cunning and controlling smile, and she knew that He had indeed laughed at her struggle. She could feel her heart begin to race, but she forced it to calm. “Very good, you managed to not kill yourself; well done.” All the warmth that had been in His voice had vanished, and the normal patronizing tone was back. “As you’ve probably noticed, this band is a limiter. You will not be able to perform any form of magic, nor will you be able to shift without my permission. If you do anything that goes against my word, the ring will tighten, and could potentially strangle you. If you do anything you are not supposed to, such as wander or snoop, it will tighten. Disobey and it will tighten. Is that understood?” He asked.

“Yes, Master,” Audra coughed; breathing was still hard.

“You should adjust to the limitations,” Voldemort assured her. “Follow,” He commanded. She did as she was told, noting how it felt as if she was trying to walk through water with cement feet. They walked down the hall away from the staircase, eventually stopping in front of a door. With a flick of His wand, Voldemort opened the door to what appeared to be a large coat closet. About five by seven feet, it housed nothing but a mattress. There was another door to the left of the mattress, and it was this door that Voldemort pointed to. “My own sleeping quarters is on the other side. That door will remain locked unless I otherwise need you. While you are in here for the day, both doors will be locked from the outside. When it is time for your services, this door will be unlocked. Try and escape and I will know,” He added. Audra nodded, indicating she understood both the literal and implied translation; not only would an alarm probably sound, but her dead body would be in the hallway. “You are dismissed for the morning,” He said.

“Thank you, Master,” she muttered, walking past Him and into the room. He shut the door and she heard the _click_ of the door locking behind her.

Audra waited with her ear pressed against the door, listening for any indication that Voldemort was gone. Sure she was absolutely alone, she let out a sigh she’d be holding for a long time. She could feel the tears welling up, but she forced them back knowing she had one thing to test out.

Sitting upon the very hard mattress, she positioned herself in a meditative position and allowed herself to drift slowly into the void. Keeping herself fully aware of her physical body, she waited for the cold metal to once again crush her windpipe. Feeling no resistance, she called, < _Lindsey, Gina, Amber,_ > but no one answered.

There was a slight force against her neck, but it didn’t feel threatening, more like a warning that the magical object knew she was doing something wrong, but couldn’t figure out if she was disobeying an order. _Good thing it’s not a meeting night_ Audra thought. Quickly, she returned to the plane of reality, not wanting to linger too long.

The small, dark closet returned, as did the full impact of her predicament. Without warning, tears began streaming down her face, and she could not force herself to stop. She had waited almost two years; how long would it take until she’s achieved her goal? She felt inadequate, unable to give the Order of the Phoenix the much needed information they had been hoping for. She missed Sirius, wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms again, safe from harm. She missed laughter, fun, and love. While she was able to hear Lindsey, Gina, and Amber at their meetings, she missed touching them, hugging them, knowing that they existed. She longed to go for a walk in the sunshine with Lily, or cause ruckus with James, Remus, and Sirius. Strolling down Diagon Alley or even Hogsmeade Village, even being back in class at Hogwarts; everything Audra ever took for granted. And now, it was all gone.

 _I just want to go home_ she cried. But she had a job to do, and she would carry it out, even if it led to her death. _Because the mission is more important than your morals_ she reminded herself. She hugged her knees and fell to her side. Allowing the tears to continue, she let the misery wash over her and drag her under, until there was no energy left to remain awake. Slowly and painfully, she slept.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This *might* be the last one for a week or two. I'm working a lot coming up and then I'm heading to Tokyo! Whee! Gonna see my friend who is a girl but I am not dating. Eh. Thanks for hanging out and reading. I really appreciate it.


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